![]() But giving up our Selves a little at a time to earn approval is also a kind of fawning, and if we fail to recognize this as a trauma response, we may mistake codependence for connection. It’s easier to recognize fawning when danger is obvious, particularly as a response to violence or abuse. We don’t usually recognize fawning in these circumstances. It is common for parents to think that entraining a fawn response will benefit their child in the world (although they would never use the word fawn to describe sacrificing their own needs for the sake of others). Schools, from daycares to high schools to universities, require fawning to navigate social interactions and classroom etiquette. Many social events require fawning - after all, no one wants to be the Debbie Downer at a party. Standards of professionalism in most workplaces require fawning. ![]() We are conditioned to perform *prosocial behaviors in almost every social setting regardless of our internal state. ![]() Fawning is a trauma response, and it’s also an expected social behavior in western cultures. It’s something I’ve done since I was a very small child, and it’s something that I observe people doing around me almost every day. Arielle Schwartzįawning is taking care of others by suppressing my own emotions, needs, or identity. “Fawn is the process of abandoning self for the purpose of attending to the needs of others.” - Dr. “Fawn types seek safety by merging with the wishes, needs and demands of others.” - Pete Walker
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